'Raajneeti' takes itself too seriously; scenes of high tension played out to comedic results, at least on me. These are scenes I've been watching in Bollywood for decades. Take for example, a wet-kurta-dance leading to innocent procreative sex leading to a regretful withdrawal of the morcha-king resulting in a Moses-send-off for the offspring. Then there are dialogues like "Loha garam hai", public transport being used a methaphor for raajneeti, Suraj explaining his choice of Virender to Maa, Samar repeatedly saying "humaare raaste alag hain" or "tum nahin samjhogee" to the intelligent babes; of course Virender's histrionics will be the stand out of the lot. My mind drifted to 'Dabangg', a movie am yet to watch, where such scenes are supposedly humorous by design telling us that such stuff don't work as intended any more.
Readers will notice my problems with this film are typical of movies that don't work. Some are typical to Prakash Jha with the only difference being they worked earlier but are now cliched. Let's go.
- "People.....where are people. Show me people...where are people... " (quoting from Sienfeld) I understand this film is an adaptation but so was 'Omkara' where characterization wasn't neglected. This is a serious problem for me, I was confused with names and relations for the first hour after which my wife explained it to me. Consequentially, the intense passages in the film seemed contrived. I wasn't feelin' it buddy.
- Men in white: Men in white clothing, men in white cars, men in white helicopters moving from left to right on the screen which in movie language, I think, means going forward. Getting tired of this. Show it a few times, is okay, but every few minutes in a movie? Come on.
- Stageshows: Too many scenes on a stage, cliched speeches delivered with punched fists to clamoring crowds. Banners furling and unfurling in the backdrop. Some old trick of switching off microphones. Bas yaar.
- Smart people: I loved this. Virender goes to a village and people promise him support. Prithvi later meets people and he is assured by them again! "Is baar toh chunav aap ki huzoor" or some such. People double-crossing politicians, people playing the two against each other; this could have introduced a new villain. I know I know. Virender and Prithvi probably went to different places or at least met different people but it's gives me a kick to think like this.
- Dialogues, methaphors: "Loha garam hai"..... Ha ha ha...... A line like this now serves a purpose exactly opposite to what it's intended to. Then there's Prithvi and the babe he has been manipulating with the promise of a ticket to contest from Sitapur (you'd better not miss the insinua ation in the name of the district here). He tells her, "Yeh raajneeti hai, koi public transport ki gaadi nahin ke haath uthaya, gaadi ruki, aur chad liye." Even in a tense situation he was able to come up with a smart metaphor..... Can't believe the writing.
- Major League Baseball: When Inspector Sharma slapped Samar I should have known man, I should have known. That feet position, the weight transfer from the backfoot to the frontfoot, the high swing of the arm, the perfect circular arc formed by his outstretched hand when the palm of his hand lands that perfect slap on Samar's cheek should have given away that Sharma is batter in the local baseball league. That explains why Sharma kept a dozen baseball bats in his secluded vacation spot. How was he to know that the bat could be used on another spherical object, namely his head.
- Concentric circles of death: I notice that in movies like this the story is written in a way so as to kill characters placed in concentric circles. At its center is placed the guy who should be killed first to solve the problem. But no, the screenplay just won't allow it. The obstacles to reaching him are the concentric circles of peripheral characters who will be murdered, or left bedridden to later speak when necessary, with bombs in mobile phones and, of course, baseball bats. Oh, and of course the peripheral concentric circle characters will provide clues or instructions on who is next in the circle and when to move up to the next circle.
- Women be shopping: When the Prithvi's men apaharan the girl who wants a ticket from Sitapur she has to be shopping, right? That's just what women do, right? They can't be reading a novel, or watching a movie, or (hello?!) writing a speech for the upcoming chunav for which she now has the much coveted ticket. But no, if you are contesting elections it is immensely important to look good in hand-crafted sarees while you are escorted by men in white, ride white ambassadors and white helicopters, to later join the palms of your hands during the oft conducted stageshows.
- Law of Omnipresence: It's been centuries since we know the dimensions of the earth but in the movies the world is a small flat piece of land where characters can be anywhere when required. When the girl is apaharan-ed good ol' Sarah just has to double-up as witness and good samaritan.
- "---sssssup": This is my wife's favorite. Sarah and Indu meet in the corridors of uncertainty, am not referring to McGrath's perfected delivery to have Dravid caught at slip, but the sprawling passage from one room to another in that mansion which, I have premonitions, is about to experience the mud dreaded Bollywood bumblaast. Anyway, Indu and Sarah speak intimately for the first time but the conversation fizzled out for me. I now paused for a moment to tell my wife how dialogues are to be written between two western gals. Yes I am a self-proclaimed authorithy on "girl talk" after numerous "chick flicks" like Mean Girls, She's the Man, Legally Blonde, and more. So, the dialogues should have been, "Heeeeey Indu..." "Hey Sarah, how are you?" In the US I have noticed that this enquiry is purely rhetorical so Sarah continues without answering, "You know I heard about you and my boyfriend Summer." (Sarah believes the name to be a tribute to Kipling's generous praise for the Indian summer) "You don't worry about us Sarah. Samar and I are like soooooo ooover right now." "Cooool. Thanks, I needed that. How are things with Prithvi?" "Prithvi is pretty amazing actually. Once this chunav, I mean elections are over we are planning on taking some time off. You know in India once you get elected there's not much to do really." "Good for you Indu!.......See you 'round!" "You take it easy Sarah. Oh!...Don't forget we are having your favorite Chicken Tikka Masala for dinner tonight."
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As Indu reeled off her chunav jeetne waali speech and took oath I was reminded of another women in politics movie. It had Raveena Tandon and was titled "Satta". You want to see a movie about politics I suggest you watch this early film from Madhur Bhandarkar. Of course he later turned to exposing drugs, prostitution, child abuse, money laundering in such a big way he has been rechristened Contrabandarkar.
